The Ordinary Connections of Extraordinary Women

It was easy to get swept away by extraordinary Barnard events this year—President Obama’s Commencement speech, visits by Oprah Winfrey and Gloria Steinem, the Athena Film Festival, the Women Changing India global symposium in Mumbai, the White House Economic Forum, the Women in Public Service Project in Washington, D.C. As I reflected on this amazing year, I was struck by something else: the ordinary connections, the simple personal interactions I witnessed as I journeyed through my first year as president of the Alumnae Association. 
 In March, I traveled to Women Changing India. The alumnae on the trip had opportunities to meet and interact with the Barnard students chosen to conduct leadership workshops with high school students in Mumbai. This led to an unscheduled and unscripted sharing of ideas and thoughts between generations of women. Upon our return, Sara Lederman ’12 reported on the experience to the faculty and students. She stated that getting to know the alumnae was one of the best things that had happened. These simple connections left such an impression. 
 In June, Reunion provided many opportunities for me to meet alumnae of all years and connect with classmates as we celebrated our 35th. There were speeches and awards, thoughtful panels, and sobering messages. But the moments I will not forget were not on the agenda. Meeting alumnae from the classes of ’32 through ’47 for a reception at the Vagelos Alumnae Center was a highlight that included a talk with Carolyn Silbermann Koffler ’32. At 99 years young, she came to Reunion on a MetroNorth commuter train from Connecticut. During the tea for our eldest alumnae (at which she was the eldest), she held my hand tightly as I offered her a corsage, and was so excited to see all the new faces and spaces on campus. I was touched by the warm stories these women shared about a Barnard campus with fewer buildings, but no less enthusiasm. From Millicent McIntosh to the Greek Games, Barnard history was brought to life. 


The wonder of Reunion is not always reuniting with old friends, but also making new ones. Emily Gould ’77 and I had never met at Barnard, but over those few days in June, we became friends. Along with many of my classmates, we talked about reinventing our lives at mid-life. Over a three-hour breakfast we hoped would not end, my classmates and I shared croissants and meaningful conversation with a raw honesty that allowed us to explore some painful avenues. Our shared Barnard experience was all we needed to connect.


From Mumbai to Morningside Heights, it was an extraordinary year for me as president of the AABC, but it wasn’t Oprah or Obama, it was the “ordinary” that made it so. One of the stated missions of the AABC is to further connections between alumnae of all generations. These are powerful experiences that can have an unexpected impact on both graduates and students. Join us this year. Attend an event, join a regional club, mentor a student, or come to Reunion. Have a conversation with someone who shares your Barnard experience. This is truly where the extraordinary magic is. 




All my best wishes,


Mary Ann LoFrumento ’77